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Sunday 3 January 2010

Avatar - Movie Review


Hey guys,

I've made it my goal to post as much crap as I can on my blog.
Anyway, I'm eatin' Pizza now. It's kind of nasty, I hate Pizza. The quality is just plain shit nower days. I remember back before 2005 when pizza was superb. It was flawless and tasted delicious.
Now there's a shit load of yeast inside that the first thing that crossess my mind after havin' a bite is crap. Yeah, it fucks with your stomach, this pizza. And I bought it from Pizza Go Go, so NEVER try their pizzas out.

As for life, everything is pretty awesome. Well, in my previous post, I did say I'd review Avatar which I watched the day before 2K10, which was 31 Dec 2009.

Avatar Movie Review

It is the first film I was gonna watch in 3D and I had HUGE hopes. I had hopes of entering a whole new universe and being drowned within its realms for as long as I could. There was a Cadbury ad before the start of the film, and it was awesome. This rock head thing just came out so close and started spinnin' about, and this made me feel all pumped up cause this was proper 3D. Guess what, there was NO proper 3D moments in the film. It sucked. Even if the film had an awesome story and was flawless, I'd still fuckin' hate it cause it didn't have 3D moments.

Okay, so graphically no big whup. I've seen video games with better graphics. The CGI looks so fake. Any of you seen King Kong? I watched that film in 2D and I was shit scared. The giant monkey looked so freakin' REAL. So was the dinosaur it made lov- war to. Then the giant sloppy slugs too. But this film was a huge dissapointment. I mean James Cameron, the guy behind kick-ass Terminator 2, ended up makin' this pile of shit now, even when there are so many technical improvements in the industry.

The colours are very bright and varied. Yeah, it does look pretty cool I guess. The forest was pretty cool and quite detailed. Everything about the environments were awesome cause it looked super-detailed and pretty realistic. The blue guys who looked clearly fake kind of took away the realness of the surroundings.

The story. It's about this army of Americans who want to get some sort of crystal crap precious to them from this planet called Pandora. However, Pandora is the habitat of blue-skinned, tall-ass creatures. They send this disabled guy along with a woman and this Avatar geek who knows loads of shit about the creatures and Pandora to enter these artificial bodies of the blue-skinned creatures through this machine which transports them to the world in which the other tall creatures live. The disabled guy is the protagonist and he has to try and get the trust of the creatures and learn of their ways. Then he reports all the behaviours of the creatures, what he has found out and stuff to this commander dude. However, he meets a woman-creature (well a blue-skinned, tall lassy) and she introduces him to the rest of the tribe. He has to pass several tests and shit to become one of the creatures and slowly he starts to like the woman who is training him to become a blue-skinned, tall-ass warrior like the rest of them. When he finally passes, he has to choose a woman to mate with and he picks the woman he likes who also likes him and they have sex for a few seconds and then the Americans strike and the disabled guy wants to save the Pandorians and betrays the Americans and goes away with the woman and geek as well as a sexy chick pilot who is a friend of the disabled guy and fly away from the main base. The woman, disabled guy and geek enter the machines and enter the Pandora world in the form of a creature and then try to help the Pandorians and the disabled-guy says he worked for the Americans and his blue-skin girlfriend's brother finds out and they fight and then they make up and say sorry and then plan to fight back. The commander dude does a shit load of damage to Pandora and finally there is an epic battle at the end.

The plot might sound awesome but it's a sort of cliched style.

Really, it's a pretty good film but I was pissed cause I paid extra to watch in 3D and there was only a few moments when stuff actually came out of the screen. However, if your not too bothered about 3D and wanna watch a decent film, check Avatar out. I personally feel that the decade-worth work and shit load of cash used had gone to waste cause it wasn't 3D-satisfying but otherwise it's an alright film.

The film deserves a 6 out of 10.


Anyway, 2010 is here so the next film I wait for has to be Toy Story 3!!
I hope its just as kick ass as the previous 2 films.

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